Why Do I Have to Stay Celibate in My First Year of My Sobriety?

The first year of sobriety is full of new changes and new ways. If you are attending a 12-Step program in early recovery, you will find that it is full of suggestions that are meant to help someone stay on the right path and not just throwing caution to the wind. Members that have stayed sober use their past mistakes to show newer members what not to do. This does not mean that the program has rules that must be followed to a tee, but merely recommendations that are in nature to help keep members sober.

One suggestion that has been highly urged on people that are in their first year of sobriety is to not get into a relationship which also includes sexual affiliation. The recommendation is based off the probability that someone that has just stopped using drugs and alcohol may not be emotionally stable enough to maintain a healthy relationship. Someone that is making alterations in their lifestyle will most likely have a different result in a relationship when they have worked the steps and processed the patterns that they have exhibited for most of their life then someone who is just figuring out who they are as a newcomer.

Relationships are difficult in all stages of life, but in the first year of sobriety, a person may be a walking raw nerve with no way to cope besides alcohol or drugs. When that love interest upsets the person that is trying to stay sober, their first inkling may be to turn to mind-altering substances because they do no longer want to experience the pain that they are feeling and may not have the necessary tools in place to keep them from consuming them.

In the Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous, page 34, it states, “If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year.”  This passage relates to how people change over a year and where early members came up with the suggestion that someone should stay celibate for a year.

The truth of the matter is that if someone wants to stay sober, they will do what others that stay sober do. If an individual is married or has had a serious significant other for a while, this is a completely different situation. This only applies to single individuals whose sobriety may be jeopardized with embarking on a new relationship. A 12-Step program is based on suggestions only and if someone wants to be in a relationship in early sobriety, they must honestly decide what is best for their recovery after knowing what the consequences could be.   

If you or someone you know is struggling with drugs and alcohol, Renewal Recovery Solutions can be the difference that takes you far in your sobriety. Our mission is to provide the finest service to our clients as well as foster a recovery program that is second to none.

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